


In the Middle of the Night

by Jutschina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4421156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jutschina/pseuds/Jutschina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've watched you in your sleep... did you know that? So many times... just woken up beside you in the middle of the night and watched you..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Middle of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Ianto's speech in the Torchwood audio play "The Dead Line".

Ianto opened his eyes and and looked around in confusion, slowly getting used to the dim light. Some noise had woken him up in the middle of the night.

_What's going on? Where am I?_

He had dreamed. About Lisa. It had been one of those dreams that were worse than the nightmares he'd had in the first months after her death - because in this one, they'd been happy... it was the time long before Torchwood Three, before the Battle of Canary Wharf, and they were so young, so alive and so careless... Ianto had woken up and still seen it all, and it took him a while until he realised that he wasn't in their flat in London but in the Torchwood Hub in Cardiff, and that the person beside him wasn't Lisa but Jack Harkness.

Ianto smiled and stroked the older man's chest, gently pressing a kiss on his neck before he withdrew from him, folding his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling, sunken in the memories of his dream.

Sometimes, he still missed her. He knew that he always would. They'd never been the perfect couple - which couple was? -, they'd had their ups and downs, but it had been a bloody good time. And Ianto would always remember that.

Next to him, Jack shifted in his sleep and groaned.

Ianto glanced down at him and startled - the other man's face was distorted with pain, his chest raising and lowering heavily with every breath... Then he opened his mouth and screamed - all of a sudden Ianto recognized what had pulled him out of his sleep earlier - and clenched his hands to fists, moving as if to fight off an attack.

Quickly, Ianto was over him, pressing Jack's body down on the mattress, and kissing his forehead. "Shhhh", he whispered, pulling the man into his arms. "It's okay, it's okay..."

Jack was still asleep, moving and groaning and mumbling inaudible things, but slowly he started to calm down. Ianto caressed him and rocked him gently, holding him tightly against his bare chest. "Shhhhh..."

With a deep sigh, Jack finally relaxed completely in the welsh man's arms, and Ianto moved the both of them carefully until he was in a more comfortable position. He brushed his fingers over his lover's face and watched him.

"What are you dreaming about?", he whispered, pressing another kiss on Jack's forehead. "What do you see? What nightmares?"

This wasn't the first time that Ianto had seen the older man like this - he remembered the time shortly after Jack had returned from... well, wherever he'd been with the Doctor--- Some nights, Jack would wake up screaming, covered in sweat, and not knowing where he was. It'd take all of Ianto's persuasion and lots of tight hugs and kisses then to bring him back to reality and to reassure him that he was safe.

_What happened to you, Jack?_ Ianto didn't wonder out of curiousity, in fact, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to know at all. He just wished that he could understand - that he could do something to help.

But Jack barely ever spoke about that time - or about his past and all the things he'd seen -, and Ianto accepted that. As he always did.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. Not after his dream, not after seeing Jack having nightmares. So, Ianto pulled the man even closer, gently caressing him, and completely happy with just watching over him. After a while, Jack's facial expression brightened and he smiled in his sleep, mumbling something inaudible.

"So, what are you dreaming about now?" _You've_ _seen so much, haven't you? So much beauty. Distant planets... events far away in the future that you can only reach again by going the slow way... the Doctor... Which part of it do you see now?_ For a second, Ianto dared to just think about it. _Or maybe... just... Torchwood. The Hub. The team, us, doing what we do. Weevils and Myfanwy and alien artifacts; Gwen and Tosh and Owen... and me._

Ianto let out a sigh. His mind drifted away to his life with Lisa, to his dream and everything that had been before he'd met Jack bloody Harkness - and, once again, he realised that he wouldn't want things to be any other way, not anymore. Right now, if someone would appear in front of him, offering him to go all the way back to the days of his dream... he wouldn't want it. _I'm right there where I belong._ Ianto smiled, glancing down at Jack.

"I love you", he whispered. Maybe this was the only way he'd ever be able to say it - when Jack couldn't hear it. Probably he would never hear it back, even _if_ he'd say it out loud some day. But that was okay.

Beneath him, Jack shifted, unconsciously clinging onto Ianto's arm, and mumbling something in his sleep. For a heartbeat, Ianto thought that Jack said his name. And for him, this was enough.


End file.
